How do we reach FULLNESS?
What do I mean by reaching FULLNESS? It is reaching a state where we are full of ourselves, no joke…but in a very good way. It is where we find that life is filled with meaning and joy when it aligns with our truest, most authentic nature. It’s allowing ourselves to truly be ourselves - FULLY US - and being brave and confident to be “full of ourselves” unabashedly. Many of us go through life well-intentioned, pursuing all the “right things”, but don’t pause often enough to know whether, or how much, our pursuits align with our true purpose. How many of us just keep going, running with our heads down, moving forward relentlessly without stopping for a breath to look around? Questions in our minds may appear that sound like “is this right?”, “what’s the point?", “why again am I doing this again?” .. . but we’re so used to forging ahead that we do just that. And besides, if we start to unpack these questions, it feels like a leviathan waiting for us and I have no time or capacity for that right now, right? So we justify continuing in status quo mode. It’s like shoving things into a closet to keep up the appearance of a clean space, but after a while that closet is about to burst, yet we dare not peek in there too long or too carefully because who knows what I might find. We get used to living this way for along time and convince ourselves we’re all good, because what other way is there?
Like a best friend’s couch which can be familiar and comfortable but not belong to us, our current beliefs and ways of living, may not belong to us either. We sense that something needs to change, but not sure what or how. When we have this feeling, it may be signaling that it’s time for an inventory audit of our minds. A chance to stop and assess where our minds tend to dwell; what we’ve picked up and packed away in our minds throughout our lives thus far and decide what should be kept or tossed. How often do we question what has become permanent fixtures in our minds that should have only been a stopover? What purpose do my patterns of thought and set of beliefs serve right now? Is it time to let some of those go and clean it out to make room for new and better? We won’t know unless we look through the chambers of our minds to take inventory of what’s there and organize it, even purge some of it. When we slow down and take the time to do this, we can recognize the mindset items that should have been temporal but have lingered too long, posing a barrier in our lives. We can determine what is keeping us from reaching the next level of efficiency and effectiveness, therefore meaning, joy, true success in our lives.
Oftentimes, these barriers are protective walls we’ve deliberately put up to convey an outward appearance of strength - to send the message to all who see us that we are capable or impervious. However, these walls when held up too long, become a habitual pretense which encroaches upon our authentic identity. These forms of protection which may have once served us, overextended their seasonal stay and is now keeping us from flowing in our truest nature. At this point a deep sense of loneliness may ensue as our true selves are unseen, not allowed to come out and shine. A feeling of duplicity and inauthenticity creeps in instead. These walls cover and stifle our innate attributes, such as our originality, creativity and genuine motivations to pursue our deepest longings and dreams. The walls of shoulds, should-nots, and have tos, inhibit us from living in a way that feels most genuine and natural to us.
The process of removing these stale walls and becoming our true selves can feel daunting or complex. But when we embark on this transformative journey, we find a renewed appreciation of who we are and confidence to embrace ourselves in full, to reach a life of fullness. The challenge is that this fullness in life is not easily achieved alone. Why? Because it is not meant to be achieved alone. I believe we are meant to thrive in community, more than in a silo of the self. If we can lean into the space of being aware, curious, intentional, and open, we can yield unexpected and unimaginable solutions in partnership. As partners, my clients and I work together to lean into that place of true fullness. This is the space where I was called to help. To come alongside someone to help them find who they are with renewed appreciation and enable a fullness in life as our true selves - together.
